It amazes me how many people live in denial and want too.

As human beings we make mistakes, we are not our mistakes but our mistakes are only beneficial when we repent, ask forgiveness so that we can learn and grow from them and become closer to Heavenly Father and hopefully the person/persons who were hurt by the mistake in the first place.

As a mother, I know that my mistakes are going to cause my children pain and wounds that will need to be healed. I hope and pray that my children will come to me and share with me the things I did or did not do that caused them pain, so that I can ask for forgiveness and that I can learn and grow as a spiritual being, becoming more of the woman I am truly meant to be.

I know the most important relationship we have or ever will have is with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. All our sense of self worth, sense of who we are and how we feel love, comes from the relationship we have with them. We should always seek healing, comfort and understanding from them. When we are hurt or disappointed we should take those feelings to them for healing and if the person is open we should express (in a loving way) that we were hurt and why, so that they have the chance to learn and grow.

I pray daily to be strong enough to be able to face the hurts and wounds, so they can be taken to Heavenly Father to be healed and I can finally become the woman I was meant to become. I see glimpses of her and that gives me hope.

If I have caused pain or inflicted wounds and anyone would like to share them with me, so that we can both learn and grow and hopefully be healed, please do.

I have learned that the thing women fear most is abandonment/loss and for men it is failure. I also learned that Heavenly Father created men to fail and women to experience abandonment/loss, so that they will turn to him. Heavenly Father is desperate for our love and to be our first love and he gave us free agency praying we would find our way back to him, that is why he created us perfectly to experience those things that would bring us to our knees seeking him. The journey back to them is hard and not for the faint of heart but worth every step, every breathe, every tear and broken heart.

I would go to hell and back for my family and have. Now I get to do the hardest thing and that is turn everything over to Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ and have faith in them that my family will be saved and will always be a forever family. I have to let go of everything; control, logic, holding on too tight, old hurts and wounds, expectations, longings/wants/desires and hold on to my faith with everything that I have. I pray I have the strength and patience necessary for my journey.